The Food
I have weird taste. I admit that. But tastes issues aside, her food plan sucked. Problemo numero uno: the insanely low daily calorie allotment. She expected me to not only wake up every morning and take care of my house and kids but to work out on my BMR: a measly 1300 calories a day. Even refugee camps provide 1800.
Secondly, I don't know if I buy her whole "oxidation type" theory. I (kinda) get the science behind it but just because something sounds scientifically correct doesn't make it so. There are a lot of variables in metabolism and upping my carb intake by a lot didn't help my weight or my muscle at all.
Third, the food tasted terrible. Not to mention the overabundance of mercury-contaminated large fish (one day in my menu plan called for 6 oz. of swordfish followed up the next day with the same - the FDA recommends avoiding swordfish altogether as it is one of the most heavily contaminated fish in the ocean.)
Fourth, she came from a totally California rich girl mentality where organic produce grows on trees (hee!) and tempeh is at the corner gas station.
The Exercise
This part was obviously Jillian's field of expertise. She provided two new workouts per week, each repeated twice. The exercises were varied and worked out the entire body. She relied mostly on tried-and-true body builder standards like the squat and the bench press but added in some novelties I'd never tried before.
At first I thought her workouts were too easy until you guys pointed out to me that I could do them twice in a row. Once the Gym Buddies and I did that, we consistently got our butts kicked. Although I had to up all her recommended weights, speeds and inclines.
The one thing I didn't like, and I know I'm being nit picky here, was that her exercise program felt a little bit "old school" and not in a good way. Her reliance on the Swiss ball and push-pull technique were all very hot a few years ago but have since been relegated to the what-were-we-thinking bin. It was only after I looked back at the copyright date that I realized the book actually is several years old. So it was probably cutting edge... when it came out. (So don't ask me why they are marketing it like it's new now.)
My Results Weight: +9 FREAKING pounds (but we've already discussed that that was probably due to the over training and not to Ms. Michaels) Body fat: +2% (sigh) Measurements (ready for some weirdness?)
Waist: -1/2 inch (after gaining 9 lbs???)
Arm: +3/4 inch - goooooo biceps!
Hips: +1.5 inches
Butt: +1 inch (which I admit that I kind of like. I don't have much of a butt usually)
Thigh: +1.25 inches
Gym Buddy Allison's weight and measurements stayed constant.
My Conclusions
There was nothing really exciting or earth shattering in here. The strength of the book lies in Ms. Michaels' considerable charisma. I loved her honesty about how hard she and other H'wood types work for their physiques. I loved her no-nonsense no-coddling here tone. And, since I now own the book, I will probably continue to use some of her workouts (slightly adapted, natch) to break up my routine. But the food plan - blech. And I have to say that I will NOT miss her smirk on her cover photo. Seriously, after a few days I started turning it over just so she'd stop looking at me like that.
I know a bunch of you tried this one with me - what were your thoughts? Results? Anyone end up with Jillian's abs??
We should institute a paper-bag mask and trench coat uniform for all would-be pervs. Make them so much easier to spot! Photo Credit.
It started with running away.
The Backstory
At nineteen I was sexually assaulted by a boy whom I was dating, hereafter referred to as Very Bad Boyfriend. The physical toll it took on me was rather minor (I had a worse recovery from my appendix surgery and don't even get me started about child birth). But after the dust settled, I realized that the mental toll was immense. I was depressed, withdrawn and suffered from frequent nightmares mixed with bouts of pull-that-crazy-woman-off-the-bridge PTSD. My remedy of choice was simple: pretend it never happened.
But it had. I was forced to admit this when I discovered through a newspaper article that, five years later, VBB had done it again. And again. I called the police department that same day and made a report. By the time I hung up the phone I was shaking so badly that I threw up. This will be so healing for you, everyone told me. You'll get to face him and show him what he really did to you. You can finally get really angry and justice will be served. In the end, after nine months of court battles, the only part of that that came true was the getting really angry part. He went to prison for three months and jail for nine but, strangely, it didn't feel just to me. I still felt hurt. If anything, I felt more hurt by him. Dredging up all the old memories and then listening to what he did to the other girls only made me wallow in my pain and the guilt I felt for not reporting him sooner.
In an ironic twist, the day after he was sentenced, my third baby was born. And the next day I started running. Never having been a runner before, at first it was just running away. I couldn't feel the emotional pain when I was in physical pain so as soon as I finished my 5 am nursing, I'd be out the door and into the dark. But my legs couldn't carry me fast enough or far enough to escape my thoughts, or the ten pounds of post-partum weight than I had decided to focus all my misguided anger on. Running was a good release but I was still scared.
The Beginning
I thought perhaps muscles would make me feel less vulnerable so I took up weight lifting. My first gym was one of those really sweaty, kinda dirty, 80's-metal-pumping gyms. It was fun to see muscles where literally none had existed before (How does one function without a tricep? To this day I don't know how I was able to drive or lift my children or brush my teeth without that telltale little cut across my arm), but I was still riddled with insecurity, scared of my own shadow and plagued with nightmares.
When my husband decided to go to night school I was worried. "Why don't you go to the Y," he suggested. "Maybe try kickboxing? They have a class the night I'm in school." "I don't have any gloves," I protested weakly. "You better start punching some bricks to toughen up then," he grinned.
The Power of A Good Teacher
It was the head strike that sold me. "Imagine you are actually grabbing someone's head and pulling it into your knee," the instructor yelled. That I could do. I had crash landed in Turbo Jennie's TurboKick class. A petite blond with biceps that could crack a walnut, she projected a no-nonsense, slightly dangerous air. When she punched I could see people going down. By the next class I was looking around the room for a real specimen to try it on, preferably someone I wasn’t related to but I wasn’t going to be picky.
One day after class I decided to ask her. "Have you ever, you know, punched someone? For real?"
"Like in a bar fight?" Her eyes lit up as she considered it and frat boys everywhere got a simultaneous, inexplicable shiver. Then she waved it off, "Nah. But I was a competitive boxer in college." That explained a lot. She wouldn't punch your lights out and send you home with your pride in a take-out box but, by golly, she could. No one would dare mess with Jennie.
And that's what I was lacking. All these years I had made it about him, about my attacker. When the truth was, the problem was with me. I felt weak. Scared. Ever-vulnerable. I was living in a world that felt unsafe to me and I didn't know how to deal.
I know I'm not alone. A 2007 University of Minnesota study reported that almost a quarter of female college students had been sexually assaulted. Take four of your best girl friends and then ask them. Their answers might surprise you. My point is the world is a beautiful, exciting and fun place but a safe place? Not so much.
During the court case VBB said that he had picked his victims because he knew we weren't the type to fight back. And here's my dirty little secret: I didn't fight back. I just cried. Sure he had the element of surprise, not to mention six inches and 60 pounds on me, and I've had enough therapy by now to be able to say that it wasn't all my fault - a typical reaction of victims trying to control the uncontrollable - but what I did, or didn't do rather, definitely affected the outcome. From the moment we went out together, VBB was in control. I let him set the boundaries, the mood, the location and almost every other aspect of the date. So by the time the battle came, I was exhausted, isolated and so far outside of normal that I lost the fight before it began.
I am not that girl anymore. Besides flat abs and arms that no longer wave like they're sending a sailor off to sea, Jennie helped me regain confidence in myself, whether I was doing a roundhouse (and picturing my attacker's head) or doing a body roll and realizing that it's okay to be sexy again. I don't have any delusions that the kind of cardio kickboxing I do will actually save me from a determined attack – I'm pretty sure no one has ever been TurboKicked to death – but I like to think it makes me less of an easy mark. I stand taller, walk faster and meet people's eyes when I pass them on the street. If it looks like I’m sizing you up, it’s because I am.
The Appendix
A few weeks ago I noticed a teenage girl watching me in the mirror during kick boxing. I could tell she was trying not to be obvious but she was watching me. And laughing. During a break I approached her. "Hey, are you enjoying the class?" I asked, trying not to feel like the last kid picked in gym class. Grinning, she answered, "It's great. I'm sorry to keep laughing but you just have this totally intense expression on your face. It's like you think you're really killing someone."
Yep, that's a wee me being leap-frogged by one of my hyperactive dance partners from the Lindy Hop team. Good times.
Attention all nether rock dwellers: You might not have heard but we're in a recession. And the long arm of the recession has been particularly tough on the fitness industry. Gym memberships are down, fitness clothing purchases are declining and personal trainers are finding their business getting a lot tighter. Mainly this seems to be because people view fitness as an expendable luxury. This seems a bit disingenuous to me. In my mind, fitness itself is a necessity for good health and a sound mind but fitness can be achieved without spending a dime - it's called the outdoors, you've heard of it, right? So one way that savvy consumers are cutting back on their fitness luxuries without cutting out fitness altogether is to consolidate. Hence, the fitness trend for 2009 has been crowned: Group Fitness.
For those of you older than 20, group fit refers to what us oldsters use to call aerobics or cardio class. You basically have one teacher leading a room full of sweaty folks. Group fit has moved way beyond Jane Fonda and The Firm though and now you have options ranging from kickboxing to bootcamp to spin.
Whenever I mention group fit and my deep love for sweating with strangers - or just strange friends (hellooooo TurboKick!) - inevitably someone says, "Oh, I could never do that!" And hey, if you are happy running in the beautiful outdoors 365 days a year, I'm not interested in changing your mind. But many people avoid group fit because of one basic reason: self-consciousness. They say they aren't coordinated (read: I'll fall off the step or drop my weight on my foot or kick my neighbor) or they prefer working out alone (read: I don't like other people's bodily fluids flying at me) or even that they think they wouldn't fit in (read: I don't have matchy-matchy workout clothes, toned abs or I'm not 21.)
I'm not going to tell you that your concerns aren't valid (Well, except for the matchy-matchy clothes one. As long as it covers your naughty bits and gives you adequate support then wear whatever you want! You're just going to sweat all over it anyhow.) but if you can overcome your self-consciousness you will discover there are a ton of benefits to group fit. Not only do you have an instructor to tell you what to do - hard to think what comes next when your heart rate is in the red zone - but you also get music and, best of all, friends. It makes a huge difference to be able to laugh with someone else when you turf it. Plus it saves on money since the whole class is essentially paying the instructor's salary.
A great way to get involved in group fit is one of my all-time loves: dancing. Eight million viewers of Dancing With the Stars can't be wrong! For all of you who have sat on your couch and watched a parade of c-level stars shake their money makers, I am here to tell you that you can do it too! "But I'm not coordinated enough, blah, blah, blah...." Who cares? It's so fun that you'll forget all about the fact that your feet are more George Foreman than Mario Lopez. Plus there are tons of options in cardio dance. Latin classes like Zumba are exploding right now. Urban classes like Hip Hop Hustle are found in the farthest reaches of suburbia (not to be confused with Rihanna's Disturbia, although I can see how you make that mistake). Ballet, tap, swing, ballroom, and even "aerial dancing" where you spin suspended from strips of fabric are found in gyms near you.
Back in college I was on a Lindy Hop (a form of swing dancing) team. It was truly one of the highlights of my college experience. While we weren't doing it specifically for exercise, I definitely found that all the dancing made my butt tighter, my stomach flatter and my legs looked smokin' in those little red hot pants (see above). While swing dancing was my first love, I also got to do a lot of ballroom dancing and discovered Latin dancing. Which came in handy after I got married and my husband refused to swing dance with me saying I was too bossy and I back-lead. Both of which are true. (I'm a control freak, remember?) So the husband and I took up Salsa dancing together and our marriage has been muy caliente ever since!
Wednesday's Great Fitness Experiment Giveaway: Core Rhythms DVD Set
Would you like a chance to add some Flamenco to your flan (a bland Spanish dessert with the texture of cooked boogers)? One of my pet peeves about other dance cardio videos I have tried is that they take an aerobics instructor and teach her a few dance moves. This is exactly the opposite. In this 4-disk DVD set, international dance champions Jaana Kuntz (she of the hot pink hair) and Julia Powers (she of the big hair) teach you actual Latin moves from the Salsa, Samba and Merengue. I have to say that for an at-home workout, this is truly one of the more delightful ones I have tried. It's campy - the shiny costumes! the spray tans! the omnipresent ginormous set of abs pulsing behind them! and it's a decent workout - anyone who has ever watched "latin hips" in action knows those great abs don't happen by accident! Basically it's Strictly Ballroom meets Fit TV. It's aerobics for drag queens.
And it's so much fun you'll forget you are even working out. Plus you'll learn moves you can actually take with you to the club or your cousin's 3rd wedding.
One last super cool thing about these DVDs is that you always have the option to change the view at any time. So rather than staring face-on at the teachers, you can switch to a back or side view to really see what they are doing. It also comes with an introductory DVD that explains slowly and simply how to do the basic moves so you aren't left scrambling to catch up.
To enter to win your own Core Rhythms starter pack, leave me a comment below telling me how you feel about group fitness. Do you love a packed room of sweaty masses? Or do you prefer to work out that hip action in the privacy of your own home and then wow everyone at the next family reunion luau? Anyone want to go dancing with me?
Reader Maggie made an astute observation in her comment on my post "Can You Be Too Old To Exercise?" Smart girl, she writes:
[...] it really bothers me when a fitness magazine has an article about loving yourself and your body the way you are... and on the next page there's an article telling you how to lose 10 pounds fast (!).
Shape Magazine heard Maggie and decided to give her a late holiday gift (just like when your aunt "forgets" you are allergic to peanuts and gives you a gigantic tin of her famous peanut brittle): On page 150 they have a delightful little article called "Banish Those Body Issues" illustrated with a photo of 6 naked women. (Why is it that for a woman to show she is body confident, she must be naked? Is confidentandclothed some kind of oxymoron?) On the very next page is the article with largest font from the cover: "Drop 10 lbs This Month." Not only that but it was subtitled: "Our best plan ever!"
To paraphrase my favorite karaoke song ever "Why do you build me up (build me up!), buttercup baby, just to let me down (let me down!)?" (If you are currently singing "And worst of all (worst of all!), you never call darlin' when you say you will (say you will!)" then you will love this.) Shape gave me a challenge I could not refuse. I am going to do their "Drop 10 lbs this month" plan and see what happens. Will I learn to "banish those body issues?" or will I banish that pesky poundage?
I've always wanted to take a magazine at their word and then write about the results. It's like those commercials that say you can burn (tiny type) up to (huge type) 1,000 calories an hour doing Zumba! Now I love Zumba but I've done that class with a heart-rate monitor on and I'll be darned if I ever broke 400. This workout not only says it will "burn more than 400 calories in just 30 minutes!" they also promise "you'll have firmer muscles, your clothes will be noticeably looser, and the number on the scale will plummet. Plus you'll feel like you can take on antyhing the world throws at you." I don't know about you but interplanetary objects chuck stuff at me like all the time. Who can resist that?
It's the smart aleck in me. I can't help it.
All snarking aside, a lot of people look to magazine workouts for ideas and while occasionally they come up with some flat-out craziness, often they have some good plans for spicing things up. In addition to novelty, you can't beat them for cost effectiveness. In this time of financial hardship, shelling out a few bucks for a magazine certainly beats an hour with a pricey trainer. Also, they are widely available, come with pictures and are a good place to start. And what is January if not a good place to start?
My sister, who knows me better than I know me, pointed out that a lot of people find my Experiments intimidating because I'm such a die-hard exerciser (post about compulsive exercise coming at you soon!) "Why don't you do something that everyone can try?" she asked me the other day. "Oh but everyone can try the stuff I do," I began to enthuse. She cut me off, "What I should have said was, 'Why don't you do something that everyone will want to try?'" Ah. And while I do realize that some of you read this just for the freak-show appeal of watching me do hilarious and sometimes idiotic things - and that's not going away, don't worry - I do worry about alienating people who are just getting into fitness. Exercise is for everyone! No matter how young or old, how weak or strong, how thin or thick, how introverted or extroverted; there is something for everyone. So this month there are no excuses. This is a real workout - your quads will burn - but it is customizable to every level, requires little to no equipment and has a good healthy balance of strength training and cardio.
The Workout
You've got two days of the strength circuit in the magazine, two days of high intensity interval work and one day of something low-n-slow like yoga or walking. Every 4th day is a rest day.
The workout the Gym Buddies and I will be following is: Monday - Shape Magazine strength circuit (see pictures below) Tuesday - Boot Camp interval workout (you can sub biking, running, swimming or any other activity that gets heart rate upupup and then takes it down for a rest and then back up again. The key is the intensity - you want something short and hard. Don't go over 45 minutes. You want a suggestion? Do the 8/12 bicycle sprints!) Wednesday - Shape Magazine strength circuit Thursday - Yoga/walking Friday - Turbokick interval workout (again, sub in what you like)
We will also be doing a Hip-Hop cardio class Monday nights that falls into the steady state cardio category and a TurboKick class on Saturday but that's just because we love those classes so much and can't bear to give them up. You don't have to add anything else in.
While I would be highly surprised if I lost 10 lbs this month, this workout has some new moves and takes anywhere between 30 and 60 minutes depending on how much time you have to give to it. If you can get past the editorial hyperbole, I think you might like it. We did it at the gym today and it kicked our butts! So throw those resolutions in high gear and join the Gym Buddies and I this month. This is your month, people and I want to hear all about it! Who's in with me?
Shape Magazine Workout Scans
*note: This workout uses a weighted ball but there is nothing special about the ball. If you don't have a ball, use a dumbbell or a milk jug or two soup cans. You can even do the moves without any weights at all! (Click the images to enlarge)
Karate surprised me. As you may recall, I informed Sensei Don at the beginning of the Experiment that I was less interested in the mental aspects of Karate and more interested in the killing people. He was kind enough to tell me some things about the more lethal aspects but also gently guided me back toward the mental and spiritual aspects of the martial art. It turns out that to do the former well, you have to be good at the latter.
This irritated me. I don't like busy work and the standing basics and kata repetitions were a bit reminiscent of Madonna/Gwyneth Paltrow's 100-rep workout. Usually it entailed me ordering one of the Gym Buddies to count to 100 while I chattered and used them for free therapy (they're very good to me!). But somewhere along the way, I started to realize what Sensei Don meant.
Three Life Lessons I Have Learned From 30 Days of Karate 1. When Someone Pushes, Pull Them Towards You. One of the things Sensei Don taught us was a game called "Sticky Hands." Check out this video to watch as Gym Buddy Allison and I explain the game and give a very giggly demonstration of how to do it (Yes, I know how very unKarate like we look. You think this was bad, you should have seen us in the Dojo. Sensei Don is nothing if not patient.)
No, I'm not getting ready to feel up Allison. Seriously, YouTube - what's up with that??
The hard part of the game is that it is counter-intuitive. What is your gut reaction when someone pushes you? To push back, of course! But Karate taught me the power in pulling them in closer - not only do you use their momentum against them but it usually unbalances them. And I discovered that this little lesson applies to more than just punches and shirt grabs.
This past month I was having an intense emotional struggle with one of my good friends. I won't detail the cattiness that ensued but succificeth to say I ended up at the gym in tears one night. As I bit my lip and tried not to look like the 12-year-old I really am, I remembered the Sticky Hands game and something Sensei Don had told me: "The hardest part is giving up control to the other person." You know what a control freak I am. But I decided that he was right. There was no point in fighting with a person who was dear to me. Instead, I let her decide when and if to throw the (emotional) punches. When she did, instead of retaliating or feeling hurt, I simply drew her into me. I did my best to redirect the hurt and be gentle while she worked through her own momentum. I can't even tell you what a difference that made. Within days, my peace was restored. I found that to get control, I had to give it up first.
2. There Is Beauty In the Details. This is the part I wanted most to skip over in my Karate training. The kata is like a dance but made up of stances, kicks and punches. A very stilted and formal dance. With no music. Unless you count the funny "ki-ya"s we got to do. And yet because Sensei Don told us it was important to learn, the Gym Buddies and I did our best to squelch our silliness and practiced it faithfully several times a day. Although we may have broken out into Rockette kicks on a few occasions. It couldn't be helped.
Then one day I realized I liked it. There was a sense of mastery in remembering the order and I felt amazingly accomplished the first time we all got it right. (There was screaming and a few cheerleader jumps. No chest bumping though - Gym Buddy Megan is pregnant, remember?)
How much do I hate the sound of my voice on video? It sounds so much better in my head!
But the moment when I truly realized its worth was when we performed it for Sensei Don. He stepped in and showed us what we had really learned: a sequence of moves that was not arbitrary, like I had thought, but was designed to block and attack a certain offense. And when I did it right, it worked! In all the self-defense classes I've taken, I've never actually ended up with a move that really worked. And now I had three! I was positively giddy. I went home and tried them on my husband. They worked on him too! That is until he decided to just throw me over his shoulder and tickle me until I threatened to pee on him. That little technique isn't covered in self-defense books but I've had good results with it.
The first time I felt this strength was during one of the first lessons when Sensei Don asked if he could touch my throat. He had no way of knowing that that is my absolute panic spot. Even now, thinking about it, makes my heart pound and the bile rise in my throat. I don't let anyone touch my neck, not even my children. I believe my response was to throw Gym Buddy Megan under the bus. "Can you do it on her?" Sensei Don replied that he would but he wanted me to feel where the pressure points on the neck were. And so I said yes. And you know what? I was okay. Not great - I did tear up a bit but I don't think anyone noticed - but I was okay. And now I know that about myself.
The second time was much more dramatic. After all those weeks of drills, Sensei Don finally deemed us ready to punch something. So he got out his pads and showed us a drill where we did two punches and a block as hard as we could for two minutes straight. Now, I have done intervals. And I will tell you that this rivals the 800m sprint as the highest intensity interval training I have ever done. It had something that sprinting does not though: I got to hit stuff. Within just a few punches I discovered the satisfying thrill of smashing my hand into something - hard. It felt really good. In fact, it felt so good that I didn't realize until after the first interval was over that my left hand had two split knuckles and I was about to leave blood spatter in the Dojo. I quickly taped it up though because I didn't want to miss my next interval and Sensei Don was not stopping the clock for me.
For some reason that I still can't fully explain, all that punching did something to me. Like my knuckles, something inside me split open and while it hurt, it felt good to get it out. I cried when I got home and it wasn't because of the pain in my hands (although seriously, that hurt! I do not recommend splitting your knuckles). Afterwards I felt lighter than I have in a really long time. It was a high that didn't leave me for days. I even dreamt about installing my own makiwara (a leather punching/kicking post) in my basement so I could do it again.
I learned that those tides of emotions that overwhelm me at times can be controlled without repressing them. And they can be experienced without being consumed by them.
For a good example of control, check out Sensei Don first breaking a board (don't blink or you'll miss it, he makes it look that easy) and then demonstrating the practical application of the move on Good Sport Bill, another student.
Conclusions
So how was Karate as a workout? That was the original point of this Experiment, right? It was fairly rigorous. Like many workouts it is as hard as you make it. Sensei Don kept things tough for us by having us do daily conditioning exercises like push-ups (although never again on our knuckles), sit-ups and squats. At his Dojo he came up with some circuit training that involved functional weight exercises specific to Karate movements that we were training. And of course the repeated punches and kicks could definitely bring on a good sweat. We added some free weights and cardio of our own as well as daily standing basics and kata drills. Despite never targeting specific muscles groups with our Karate training, I found that my shoulders and upper arms got some additional muscle definition.
Karate was definitely one of my most favorite Experiments. Generally as the Gym Buddies and I get to the end of the month, it gets harder to motivate ourselves to do the workout. We're ready to be done and move on to the next thing. This time however, I wished I had more time to continue it. One month was simply not enough to learn everything that I want to know about Karate. Don't worry though, Sensei Don and I are in talks to continue with the lessons so I'll get my punching fix somehow!
For kicks and giggles, here is Sensei Don performing his favorite move on Bill. Kill Bill!
So tell me: those of you who have martial arts experience - was it like this for you? Was anyone else surprised by the mental aspects like I was? Have any of the rest of you experienced a mental or spiritual element in conjunction with a particular kind of workout?
PS> Tomorrow I'll announce January's Great Fitness Experiment - and it's one EVERYBODY can follow along with this time. Perfect for New Year's Resolutions or just a change up, so no excuses this time! I even enlisted an additional Gym Buddy, Krista, to join us. Also, look for upcoming posts on binge eating and compulsive exercise as requested by several readers in the comments!
Man 1: (To buddy, right after I passed them going uphill) Dude, you just got passed by a girl.
Man 2: Yeah, well. So did you, dude.
Man 1: You think we can catch her?
They did not catch me. A fact that made me glow with pride every time I thought about that race afterward. Now, make no mistake - I'm not that fast of a runner. I usually hit in the top 30% but I have never won a race. I do pass some folks, but more often than not I'm the one getting passed. And yet, I did beat those two men that day. I think I giggled.
Part of the behind-the-scenes work for this blog is that I field a lot (a lot) of queries from PR people schilling everything from fitness books to toaster ovens to pinhole glasses. They want me to promote their product/event/insane website. The nice ones give me stuff to try out and give away to you guys. The courteous ones get my name right. But the majority of press releases I read are anonymous, hastily written, often irrelevant blog-o-mercials. They get deleted very quickly. Normally.
But this afternoon I got one that caught my eye. Despite doing everything wrong - the greeting simply read "hi", it was obvious they had no idea what my blog was about other than generic fitness and the "promotion" was entirely self-serving - they got my attention because they had a novel concept. They were pimping the TREK Women's Triathlon Series, in their words, "the first triathlon created by women, run by women and exclusively for women."
My first reaction was why on earth would you want to do that? I don't run races for men - in fact I don't chat with anyone, regardless of their gender, when I'm racing - and yet I certainly don't mind them being there. I've never had a bad experience with a man in an athletic competition of any sort. In addition to motivating me to go faster, they've given me directions to the biffies, talked down my nerves on the bus ride to the starting line, given me high fives and thumbs up, cheered when I crossed the finish line and offered me mole skin for a blister among other niceities. Of course women have helped me tremendously as well.
In every competition I've been in, it just feels like everyone there is an athlete and their gender is irrelevant. Sure, a man always gets the fastest time but that doesn't make me feel badly about my performance. Lots of women beat me too! Men and women are built differently. Men have narrower hips, longer legs and more lung capacity, all boons when it comes to racing. Besides, the anatomical edge is ameliorated by having seperate finishing categories. My gut reaction: Women already rock traditional triathlons so why would we need a separate race?
But then I was talking to my sister on the phone this afternoon (as I do every afternoon - seriously, the only dark spot in my luminescent life is the fact that my siblings live so far away from me!) and her take was the polar opposite. "I can totally see why women would want a women's-only triathlon," she exclaimed.
"But don't you think it's patronizing? I mean it's a Sprint Tri distance (1/2 mile swim, 12 mile bike ride, 3.1 mile run) and yet instead of calling it a Sprint Tri, they call it a 'women's tri'? As if women could only be expected to do the shortest competition distance?"
"You're being too sensitive," she said in her best mommy voice. (Side note: when did she get old enough to have a mommy voice and when did I get old enough to recognize it?) "Lots of women are intimidated by triathlons. The distance and the lack of men is just supposed to overcome that hurdle - to get women competing who wouldn't otherwise try it. "
"Hmph."
"Besides, it's all girl power. And I'm all about women banding together. I mean, that's the whole appeal of Curves, right?"
So now I'm asking you guys: Is there an advantage to separating the sexes in athletic competitions such as road races and triathlons? Would you be more likely to compete in an event that was only open to people of your gender? What if someone started advertising a Men's Only Tri? Have you ever had a bad experience with someone of the opposite gender in a race? Do you run faster in a mixed-gender setting? Do you feel like I've suddenly sprung a pop quiz on you and now your palms are sweaty and your mind is blank? I have that effect on people...
Branching out beyond the adorable-yet-small-thinking tiny tots with their eyes all aglow crowd, Santa Claus made a pit stop at the YMCA this year. In an effort to reach an older and more lucrative crowd, while coal was not on the agenda - although I'm sure the resourceful and charitable Y folk would have found some use for it that would not have ended in pollution (new class! Functional fitness by pitching coal!) - lots of good fitness girls and boys were rewarded with exercise toys galore. A full line of TRXs were hung by the chimney with care and visions of kettlebells danced in the air. (And that, friends, is the closest to poetry I will ever get. I hope you enjoyed it.)
New fitness gadgets! Be still my heart. As you will recall, the versatile TRX is my number one recommendation for people looking for a home or traveling strength training system and kettlebells are one of the best workouts combining strength training and cardio that I've ever tried. So I was very excited to see that the fitness director was offering free classes throughout the month of February in not only the TRX and kettlebells but also something else I've long fantasized about: the Pilates Reformer. I promptly signed up all the Gym Buddies and myself for the Reformer and the kettlebells classes. (Seeing as my TRX Great Fitness Experiment was so recent, I didn't do that class.) I was specifically interested in pitting these two classes back to back - on the same day, even - as I get so many questions on this website about the opposing training methodologies that underlie each type of training.
Kettlebells
First up was kettlebells. My number one complaint about my Great Fitness Kettlebell Experiment last September was that I never got any live instruction with the little iron wonders and while they have similar properties to a dumbbell, they are not used in the same way a dumbbell is. Hours of reading and Go Fit! videos and online tutorials by the KB Queen notwithstanding, I still felt like I would have used them better with a little in-person help. Enter my free lesson.
It started off well with Gym Buddy Allison and I forgetting that I had signed us up for the class. Thankfully Krista was on the ball and reminded us by shooting emphatic looks at us through the studio windows until we clued in. We made it in at the last second. Warm-ups were light floor aerobics, entertaining mostly because Allison forgot she wasn't in Hip Hop Hustle and did a very cool dip in the middle of her grapevine left. Which would've looked cool if she weren't the only one dipping. And if we'd had Turbo Jennie's disco ball going. As it was, we just giggled a lot.
The class itself was a 30-minute butt-kicker. I knew the power of kettlebells to get the heart rate pumping but it was even better having someone else kick my butt rather than me yelling random instructions at the Gym Buddies. I completely pitted out my shirt in the first 10 minutes. The rest was just sweaty gravy. In addition to the KB swings, lunges and presses that we were used to, we got to try out a few new moves, my favorite being the one where you hold the handle and rotate the 'bell around your head. I believe the move was called an "around the world" and not only was it a great shoulder burn but it was also good for my ego. (My head being the world. Get it??) My only complaint with the class was that the instructors didn't do much to teach proper kettlebell form resulting in one Gym Buddy with bad back pain, a common first-time kettlebell complaint. Although the teacher later told me that in the paid classes, emphasizing and correcting proper form would be a priority.
The underlying principle of kettlebells, as I understand it, is twofold: a) whatever you do, keep moving and b) lift heavy. Other proponents of the lift-heavy and don't-rest-between-sets crowd include my fave The Monkey Bar Gym, my love-to-hate CrossFit and traditional body builders everywhere. They promise a lean, cut, muscular look sculpted in a short but intense workout. You remember CrossFit chick right?
Pilates Reformer
On the complete other end of the fitness spectrum is the Pilates Reformer. The underlying principles of Pilates include breathing, centering, concentration, control, precision and flowing movement. Less explicitly stated is the reliance on higher reps and lower weight with resistance provided primarily by the person's body weight and the Reformer machine. Proponents of this school of thought include the ubiquitous Tracey Anderson (trainer of Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow and author of last year's Ballerina Fitness Experiment). Anderson recommends never lifting any weight more than 3 pounds, doing lots of dance cardio and the Pilates Reformer at least twice a week.
Being leery of celebrity trainer types, I was excited to see what our Y Pilates Reformer instructor would have to say on the subject. Long, lean & toned - the quintessential Pilates bod - she made a good argument in favor of Pilates without even saying a word. When I asked her what her personal workout routine looked like she answered that, like Anderson, she advocates at least two days a week on the Reformer all though she did accede that for some of us that might be cost prohibitive. In addition she does a couple of mat Pilates classes and occasionally mixes it up with Free Motion machines (strength machines that focus on weight training without limiting your range of motion like traditional weight machines do) and some cardio on the elliptical.
The workout was quiet and relaxed compared to the Kettlebell class we had just completed and yet my muscles, especially my core, still quaked with each exertion. Rather than motion, there was a lot of emphasis on control and synchronizing the movements with our breathing. My favorite move was a sliding plank that hit everything from my core to my butt to my shoulders. We only had to do six reps and I grateful for that as I was quite sure I could not have eked out even one more. It doesn't help that the Reformer even looks like a medieval torture device.
After the workout, I hit the teacher with the question I'd been waiting all day to ask - one that I get from you guys with some frequency - "Do you think that Pilates and yoga on their own are enough strength training?" Her answer? "Yes." While she didn't specifically speak against traditional weight lifting, like Anderson does, she did say that she has gotten great results for herself and her clients with just Pilates. It made me think Experiment Time! (Anyone have a free Reformer they want to lend me for a month?? I'll take really good care of it and promise to never ever hang my clothing on it or make jokes about the Bowflex in its presence!)
The False Dichotomy
Despite the title of my post, I do believe there is room in a person's training regimen for both kettlebells and Pilates if they so wish. I thoroughly enjoyed both classes and would do either one again in a heartbeat (especially when my money from Nigeria comes through!) However, it seems to me that people tend to gravitate towards one methodology over the other. Some people just seem to enjoy lifting hard and heavy while others really like slower and lighter. For myself, if left to my own devices, I would do yoga all day every day and nothing else. Sadly, my genetics do not seem to agree with my idea of a yoga body. And let's be honest, I'm way too ADD to stick with one thing.
So what is it for you? Do you prefer the kettlebell way of working out or the Pilates method? Or do you consider yourself a jack of all fitness trades? Do you think Pilates/yoga is enough when it comes to strength training? Anyone else want Gwyneth Paltrow to just shut up already about how "normal" and "average" she is and just admit she's got rockstar genes and piles of cash and she likes it?
It's big, it's bad, it PUTS THE X IN EXTREME!!! (It also puts the yelling into infomercials!) That's right, after over a year of pleading from you guys, I've finally got a hold of a copy of P90X for a Great Fitness Experiment! At $140, this workout is a little out of my budget and sadly I'm not cool enough to get them to give me an evaluation copy but fortunately for me Christmas came twice this year. See, Gym Buddy Megan's husband Sensei Don got her P90X for Christmas and she generously offered to share the love (and pain) with me.
For those of you who have not been sucked into one of their mesmerizing infomercials - they're everywhere, even on QVC! - nor have been accosted by one of the many P90X devotees - they're almost as rabid as CrossFitters! - it's a series of 12 intense workouts and a diet plan designed to take you from Pillsbury doughboy to winner of the bake sale ('cause you're cooking beefcake!). You do a different workout each day, 6 days a week for 3 months.
In addition to all this, P90X has the one aspect in a workout that is like catnip to me. No, it's not buff shirtless men doing crazy pull-ups (although it does have plenty of that). It's a challenge. This is not one of those "it's so fun you won't even know you're working out!" workouts. This is a "I will beat your body into submission and you will lie in a puddle of your own sweat and thank me for it" workouts. Apparently in my mind, P90X is the dominatrix of fitness (my "issues" duly noted.) They even have a test you have to pass before you are authorized to do the workout! I love tests! I love numbers! I love elitism!! Seriously, the best way to get me to try a workout is to tell me you think I can't handle it. Strangely this tactic does not work with household chores.
The Gym Buddies and I did the test before January's Great Personal Training Fitness Experiment with Lindsey and passed, except for one thing: women are supposed to be able to do one pull-up. There was a time when Gym Buddy Allison and I would have snorted derisively at one measly pull-up. As they are wont to do, our newly born children have made us humble. None of us could get higher than halfway. But tonight as Megan and I did Day 1 of the program, I discovered that I could eke one out! (Yes, I jumped a little. I'm still counting it.) This is important to me because there was an incident in college where I got locked out of my apartment and had I been able to do a pull up onto our deck I would have saved myself the humiliation of having to ask the boys next door to break into my own house for me and then promise to wash their car in a bikini before they'd let me in. (Which I totally didn't do, by the way.) So thank you for saving me from future embarrassments Lindsey! After one month we will repeat the test.
Megan and Don are going to be playing the program straight, doing the whole 90 days and the diet plan - a high-protein low carb plan similar to South Beach. Myself and the other Gym Buddies are only committed for February. I will not be doing the diet plan (more on that tomorrow.)
Unfortunately, this is going to be one of those Experiments that will be very difficult to follow along with at home unless you own the DVDs or are willing to buy them. (Check your local library! Many have exercise DVDs and you might just get lucky!) But after you read about tomorrow's workout (an hour of plyometrics - my quads are burning just thinking about it) you may be grateful for that.
Oh this? Just a one-handed bar push up. No biggie. Couple more reps and you can go back to hanging by your knees. Pansies.
"Kettlebells..." That right there would have been enough to grab my attention but then he added, "IN THE POOL." It was as if someone had shouted "Fox just un-cancelled Firefly!" at Comic-Con. Awestruck silence filled the gym. I love kettlebells. I don't not love pools. (How's that for a ringing endorsement? It's the best you'll get out of me.) But whoever thought of kettlebells in the pool? Our boot camp instructor - who busts all drill-sergeant stereotypes by being super smiley and routinely saying things like "Isn't it a great day for planks?!" - was telling us about a new high-intensity boot camp class he was starting up.
The spell was shattered when Gym Buddy Allison asked, "Would we be in the deep end?" and Gym Buddy Megan answered her with, "Yeah but if you drop the 'bell, you have to dive down and bring it back up in your teeth." Man, I love those girls.
The Gym Buddies and I have been attending a boot camp class once a week for several years. Cycling through several different instructors, we thought we'd seen all permutations of the boot camp format. I dare you to find a type of push-up that we haven't tried (and yes I'm including the Victoria's Secret variety - when you've had as many children as we have, the girls need all the fluffing they can get). But one sample of the new HIIT boot camp - that's high intensity interval training, the latest and greatest of cardio fitness trends - and we were hooked. He made us sprint on the treadmill. WITHOUT TURNING IT ON. Try it - it's hard! (Unless you happen to own a manual treadmill and then I suppose you're used to it. You warrior.)
Normally I don't do classes for Experiments. For one thing it gets pricey; when you do a new fitness program every month, costs can really add up. For another, it makes it hard for any of you to follow along if you love pain as much as I do. But despite being a pretty solid self motivator - you don't do three years of fitness Experiments without being a little fanatical - sometimes even I need someone else to kick my butt for me. So for September's Great Fitness Experiment the Gym Buddies and I will be paying someone to get all Jillian up in our business. That is if Jillian said things like, "Don't high knees just feel awesome?! What a great day for high knees!"
Have you ever done a boot camp style class? HIIT workouts - love 'em or hate 'em (or just love to hate 'em)? Lastly, do you have a novel push up idea for us to try? We're putting together our next Gym Buddies video and we'd love to give you a shout-out on camera!
I made a mistake. At first I was going to write this post and pretend I got an e-mail from someone asking me this question but I quickly realized that would be a bad idea on two fronts: one, I'm a terrible liar and two, seeing as I'm the one with the problem, I can't very well be giving myself advice now can I?
Dear Readers,
You guys are awesome and smart and have the best ideas. I have good intentions that often go awry. Please help me!
Love,
Charlotte
Encouragement is powerful. To be perfectly honest, I'm a people pleaser and have been willing to do pretty much anything to get praise since the second I slid out of the womb. (Doctor: "Baby Girl Hilton, APGAR at one minute - 10" Me: *squeeee*) However, I first became acquainted with this fact in a gym setting about five years ago. My first foray into real adult fitness was right after the birth of my 3rd child and I was about as beginner as they come. I knew I liked yoga. I knew I didn't fit into my pants. And that was pretty much it.
Then Nasca took me under her wing. A yoga and kickboxing instructor, not to mention a veteran bodybuilder and fitness competitor, she had a personality part Earth Mama and part Warrior Woman. Contrary to how most bodybuilders operate, there was never any talk of fat or thin with Nasca. She simply thought everyone was gorgeous. Including me. But she did think I should be stronger. Not from a looks standpoint but rather a functional one. I remember going on a joint expedition to Costco - with Costco it's never just a shopping trip; even if you're just getting milk it feels like the modern equivalent of slaying a buffalo and tying it to the back of your pony - and watching her heft 50-pound pallets of flour.
"Come on, use those triceps!" she joked as I struggled to help her.
"What's a tricep?" I asked lamely. "I don't think I have one."
"Everyone has one," she giggled. "Two actually. It's this cool little cut on the back of your arm." She lifted her sleeve to show me a beautiful mark of muscular definition etched into her caramel skin. Then she lifted my sleeve. "See? Yours is right here."
"Where?" I could only see white mushiness.
"Hold your arm like this." She flexed. I imitated her. Still nothing. Concerned, she felt the back of my arm up and down as I tried flexing in several different directions. "Wow," she finally said. "You really don't have one!" And then with no judgement whatsoever she said, "We've got to start you lifting weights."
As anyone who has ever explained something they are very good at to someone who is very bad at it knows, educating newbies is not fun. But to watch Nasca teach me basic weight lifting skills you would have thought I was the most exciting thing to hit the gym floor since thong leotards. Nasca gave me a lot of good information over the next few months but the real thing that kept me coming back was her friendship. She was always encouraging, always positive and always cared about me. If I didn't show up to class one day, she missed me. It sounds like a small thing but it meant a lot to me.
Since then I've tried to be that person for others. I try to notice when there are new people in class or on the weight floor. I try to reach out to them - say hi, offer a friendly smile and a little encouragement. And most of the time I think it works. I've made some great friends that way and people usually at least smile back.
Here's where it all went wrong: During a class a while ago I noticed a girl in the very back. She was new and hugging the door like it was the last escape hatch on the Red October. Nothing came easy to her. The choreography threw her, the music jarred her and the workout winded her. I tried unsuccessfully to catch her eye in the mirror so I could smile at her. She was so obviously uncomfortable that I expected her to dart out the door after five minutes and never come back. But at the end of class she was still there. I made a beeline for her.
"Hey, are you new?" I panted, dripping sweat. "You did really great today! It's a tough class - that's awesome you stuck it out!"
In an instant her look changed from dazed and tired to bald Britney with an umbrella. "Look bitch, I don't need your pity. Fat girls can work out too."
Ummm... this would be the advanced section of outdoor exercise.
I do not like being cold. Also, I am cold all the time. Knowing these two facts will tell you pretty much everything you need to know about me. It why I hate swimming (also known as controlled drowning). It's why big fuzzy socks are my go-to gift (both for others and for myself). It's why I avoid Black Friday like the plague (Cyber Monday however did some wallet damage). It's also the 3rd main reason I married my husband - in addition to loving and honoring, he promised to let me put my ice-cube tootsies on him until I fall asleep; it's in our vows and everything. (In case you are curious, reason #1 was he is the smartest, kindest, handsomest man I have ever met and reason #2 was he proposed with a Cracker Jack ring - how do you say no to that?!)
So if I won't venture outside of my toasty house for even the lure of the best sale of the year, it goes without saying that outdoor running, biking, hiking, swimming and frisbee are out of the question until I can breathe without snot-cicles forming. But a girl's still got to get her sweat on, even if she does live in the frozen wasteland of the north. (Dear Global Warming, Can you please move a little faster? You are awesome and I love you. Kidding. Mostly. Please don't write me irate environmental e-mails.)
Of course working out in cold weather is easy if you have a gym membership and a car to get you there but there are lots of other options for the more frugal:
1. Go outside anyways. Some of you like this. For instance, Nitmos of Feet Meet Street loves running so much that the only concession he makes to the weather is in his choice of clothing. (Of course, this is the same man who measures the windchill by the amount of "nipple erectus" he is sporting so take his advice as you will.) Seriously though, there are lots of fun outdoor options like snowshoeing and cross-country skiing and snowboarding that are only available in the winter and even I will stop whining about my frozen phalanges once I break a sweat. Just make sure you wear gloves and cover your ears - no matter how warm and sweaty your core gets, your extremities will still be ice blocks.
2. Make a home gym. I know, I know, I said cheap tips and these can get pretty pricey but you don't need fancy equipment to get a good sweat! Do you have stairs? Run them. Yes, your cat will look at you like you're out of your freaking mind but that's what cats do. Do you have a long-ish piece of rope and a banister to run it through? (No, there will not be a knot-tying test you Boy Scout, you.) You can do pretty much every move from the TRX workouts with just a rope. Yeah, it's better with the TRX (man, I love that thing and no they're not paying me to say that) but you don't have to have one to use your own bodyweight against you.
3. Bodyweight exercises. You can do these anytime anywhere. Impress your boss by pumping out one push-up for every copy that comes out of the machine (just don't do this on annual-report printing day. Unless you're Chuck Norris.) Put your back foot up on a chair and do Bulgarian Split Squats (also known as chair lunges for those of us who can't find Bulgaria on a map with a compass and an East European field guide) while you check your voice mail. Do wall sits during conference calls (and if anyone questions why you sound constipated tell them you are and then just enjoy the awkward silence that will inevitably follow). You are only limited by your threshold for public embarrassment.
4. Online fitness tutorials. Hello, YouTube! There are free workouts doing everything from CrossFit to Pilates to Kettlebells and many are posted by professionals (that are then hoping you'll buy their books and DVDs, natch). Netflix also offers tons of fitness vids and you can even stream them instantly to your computer or TV! There are also free websites dedicated to just this kind of thing. My absolute favorite: Bodyrock.tv ! We talked about the fitness-porn aspect of Zuzanna's site before but I haven't told you (well now I have) how I have fallen completely in love with her workouts. They are hardcore! And frankly, if I had her crazy cut abs I'd probably dress like that too. (No I wouldn't. Not even six-pack abs can hide these stretch marks.) Want to start hard? Her Sexy Beast workout kicked the Gym Buddies and my butts. KICKED. Plus, she requires very minimal equipment. This workout only needs a broom and two chairs!
5. DVDs. They're kind of the go-to indoor workout but I have to be honest with you: I don't really get a good sweat from DVD's, not even with Jillian Michaels "shredding" me. (I know, it's blasphemy.) I don't know if it's the boredom factor or that I hate being able to recite their jokes along with them (you know I love you Tony Horton but I need P90X in real time) but I rarely do these. Yet I was recently reminded that they can be a fun change of pace when I tried out the Bad Kitty Sassy Fitness Bootcamp DVD. It's hip hop. It's boot camp. It... kinda defies description. But it was really fun! And decently difficult too. Plus, anyone that wears glitter studded cuffs and leopard burnout tanks is my kind of Gym Buddy.
